


I'd Steal the Moon for You

by Craftybadger1234



Series: Steal the moon [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bodyswap, Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues, Dubious Morality, Hand Jobs, M/M, Pre-Slash, Vaginal Sex, live life to the fullest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 10:58:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11183694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Craftybadger1234/pseuds/Craftybadger1234
Summary: To apologize for the Snape Incident, Sirius swaps bodies with Remus during the full moon.





	I'd Steal the Moon for You

**Author's Note:**

> For storytelling purposes, I'm putting the Snape Incident in January of their sixth year. We're in early March for this story. The full moon in March 1977 was the first Saturday of the month, which fit my story perfectly!
> 
> I've quoted from "The Little Prince". It's a sweet little book by Antoine de Saint-Exupery. No, I haven't seen the movie.

Remus came half dressed out of the bathroom to find Sirius on his bed with a plate of chocolate muffins. He tried to ignore him as politely as possible while searching out the rest of his clothes.

“Here, I got this from the kitchens for you.” Sirius shoved the plate at him. Remus hesitated before taking one. “Since you missed breakfast and all.”

Sirius had been going out of his way to help Remus in the months since the Snape Incident. Remus still didn’t know how to accept the extra attention. The class notes. The food. So much food. Was Sirius starved as a child? That’s the only reason Remus could think of for why Sirius apologized so much with food.

“Oh. Thanks.” He took a bite of the muffin. The center was gooey and sweet, like chocolate should be. Heat spread through him. He closed his eyes to savor the warmth while it lasted. He opened them to find Sirius eating the other muffin, grinning triumphantly. 

Instead of subsiding, the heat continued to build. He shook his head to clear it but his vision started to haze over. Fuck, did Sirius poison him? His hands and legs started to shake. He fell to the floor with a groan, eyes squeezed shut. This was the end. Poisoned by his best friend. Everything went dark.

Then suddenly, nothing. No more burning. No more trembling. No more pain. 

Wait, no pain anywhere? He opened his eyes slowly only to see his body on the floor, grinning like a maniac.

“Ha! It worked!” he watched himself say.

“What? What the fuck?” He scrambled back on the bed and stared, gobsmacked, at his hands. The fingers were shorter, darker than his own. He stood in a rush, but fell to his knees with a thump. His center of gravity was all off. 

Because he was in Sirius fucking Black’s body. 

No. Impossible. He’d rather be dying of attempted poisoning.

“Surprise!”

“Surprise? This is a nightmare!” He wanted so badly to punch Sirius in the face. Kick him in the ribs. But that would only hurt himself. He needed that body. “What have you done?” He tried to stand again, slower, on shaky legs.

“I spiked your chocolate. To apologize.” Sirius-as-Remus looked too pleased with himself. He stretched his body on the floor and tucked his hands behind his head, crossing his feet at the ankles.

“Have you lost your fucking mind? The full moon is tonight. I can’t be in your body! Or more accurately, you can’t be in mine!”

“Of course I can. I can handle it.”

“This is not a game Sirius!”

“I know! I know!” He backed away from Remus-as-Sirius, hands out in surrender. “I didn’t just do this on a whim, you know. It took me forever to brew the body swap potion.”

“This is insane. We can’t do this. Switch us back!”

“Can’t. One dose lasts twenty four hours. You get your body back tomorrow after breakfast. Maybe sooner - I’m not sure how long it’ll last for werewolves.”

“This is a nightmare! I can’t believe this!” Remus covered his face and took great gulping breaths. 

“It’s going to be fine. Relax. Start thinking of the fun you can have with your night off!”

“My night off? This is not a fucking holiday!”

“Yes it is. James, Peter, and I will go to the Shack. And you will stay here and enjoy one full moon without the change.”

“Enjoy the moon? You are mental! Why didn’t James stop you?”

“He didn’t know. And he won’t know unless you tell him. And then he’ll be pissed at me. Is that what you want? For James to be mad at me too?”

Remus paced, knowing he was trapped. They’d only recently begun acting as a unit again. If anything was going to make or break the Marauders, it was the Snape Incident. Ironically, it was Remus that bridged the gaps, keeping them from splintering apart. If he told James now, it would be the Incident all over again and the bonds were too new to withstand another onslaught.

How hard could it be to pretend to be Sirius? Say loud things. Punch, nudge, hug anyone that passes. Bother anyone trying to study. Those were all doable for the day. 

Ugh, no they weren’t. How was Sirius going to handle the transition? Already he was swinging his arms and stretching his muscles, trying to relieve an ache that couldn’t be relieved. He had no idea what he was in for. What he would learn about Remus.

Sirius frowned down at his shirt. “Can I wear a t-shirt instead, just for today?”

“No! You have to keep my scars covered! All day.”

With a shrug he finished the last few buttons of the shirt and pulled a jumper on over it. He went to Remus’s trunk and found socks and trousers. As he pulled the trousers up, he hesitated over the zip and button. 

Oh fuck. Sirius smirked then adjusted his cock while fastening the trousers. 

Remus blushed in response. “You can’t. You, just… don’t touch anything you don’t need to.”

Sirius grinned. “Are you telling me to keep your hands off your dick, Remus?”

“Yes, you fucking idiot.” His blush deepened. “Don’t touch my dick. Or anything else.”

“Got it. Keep covered, don't touch any fun parts. Any other rules?”

“Yes, no snogging in dark corners. I don’t want to hear what a slag Remus Lupin was all weekend! Understand?”

“Yes yes. Don’t worry, you won’t hear a thing,” Sirius said with a wink. Remus wanted to pull his hair out but it wasn’t his hair. Fuck Sirius and his stupid fucking ideas.

“This is never going to work. This is horrible. I can’t believe you!”

“It’s going to be fine. Let’s go meet James and Peter by the lake and you’ll see.”

\--------

Remus left the castle nervously. They hadn’t done anything out of character yet, but so far it was only walking, so he didn’t think that was a good indicator of whether it was working. Which of course it wasn’t working. This was a nightmare. An awful nightmare that wouldn’t end for twenty four hours. Or less because he was a werewolf. Or actually Sirius was a werewolf. For now. Fuck. 

He turned back when he realized Sirius was not walking with him anymore. He was hunched against the light, hands shielding his eyes. 

“It’s ok. You’ll get used to the light.”

“It’s so fucking bright out here. How do you stand it?”

“Maybe because I’ve had over a decade to get used to it. Drop your hands. Let your pupils adjust.” For good measure, he threw a shade charm at Sirius’s eyes.

“What is that smell?” His nose wrinkled up in disgust.

“Any number of things. Dirt, animals, people, flowers, rain. You’ll get used to that too.”

“My brain hurts. It’s too many smells.”

“ _My_ brain knows how to deal with it. Just stop thinking so hard and it’ll fade into the background.” Remus pulled on Sirius’s arm to drag him down the path. 

“‘Stop thinking’ is the stupidest advice I’ve ever heard.” Sirius shook his head and rubbed at his temples again. 

“And stop that, or they’ll think something’s up.”

“Something is up. I don’t want to be outside anymore.”

“Well I do. I didn’t realize nature could be so pleasant.” Remus took a deep breath. Sirius’s nose couldn’t smell anything. Even the breeze across his face carried no scent with it. It was also quieter than he expected. No birds chirping, leaves rustling, students shouting. Well, maybe a little but it sounded so faint, so far away. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad afterall.

James and Peter were sitting by the lake, transfiguring rocks into smoother shapes for skipping. 

“Took you long enough. Everything okay?”

“Peachy,” said Sirius. He slumped against a tree, legs pulled in tight to his body.

“What’s the matter? Didn’t like the muffins Sirius brought?”

Remus snorted. “Oh no, they were exactly what Remus was looking for. Right, Remus?”

Sirius kicked Remus. “Shut it you. Those muffins were fucking delicious. Exactly what I wanted.”

“Are you two alright?” James looked at the two of them suspiciously.

“Yes. It’s fine. I just think maybe Remus didn’t want to come outside.”

James sat next to Sirius. “If you’re not feeling well, you can go back inside. We just thought you’d like some fresh air, instead of moping in the dorm.”

Remus was indignant. He threw a pebble at James. “Remus does not mope. He gets tired. The day before the full is hard, you twat.”

Sirius gave a small smile. “No, I definitely feel like moping about. I’m going back to bed. Wake me for lunch, yeah?” He stood for the walk back. Remus was conflicted. Should he go back with Sirius to keep him company? Or enjoy the outdoors? 

Sirius must have seen his indecision because he waved them all off. “I’ll see the three of you later. Enjoy the morning.” He hurried back up the path, hugging his arms close to his body. 

“Sorry you went all that way to drag him out here, only for him to turn tail like that,” said Peter.

“Eh it’s okay. He just needs more rest than we thought. Maybe he’ll feel better for lunch.” Remus knew that was a lie. Sirius was only going to feel worse as the day wore on. 

Remus, on the other hand, was feeling fantastic. Lighter than air. He laid back to soak up the sun. Usually he wore long sleeves to cover his scars but Sirius dressed in a t-shirt and jeans today, leaving more skin exposed. He put his hands behind his head, causing the shirt to ride up on his belly. 

James and Peter carried on chatting, ignoring Remus. This suited him just fine, as he was in no mood to fake being Sirius right now.

Hmm… sometimes Sirius went shirtless outside. He could get away with that right? It wouldn’t be weird? He felt a little guilty since he'd told Sirius to stay covered, but this body was different. Sirius did it all the time. 

Before he could talk himself out of it, Remus sat up to pull the t-shirt over his head. He balled it up and used it as a pillow. Basking in the sunshine was strange and exciting. It was so simple, so small, and his blood ran hot at this tiny rebellion. Should he use a charm for sunblock? He couldn’t recall Sirius ever casting one. 

Ah it felt good out here! The sun warmed Remus’s torso, all the way to his core. Such a far cry from the usual chill he felt year round. He focused on each piece of his body, in the moment, so he could recall the warmth when tomorrow rolled around. This was what Sirius had wanted - for him to enjoy himself. He deserved this.

“Do you think Remus was acting weird?” asked James.

“Maybe? He’s always a little weird the day of the full. I’m sure he’s fine,” replied Peter.

James nudged Remus to get his attention. “What did he say when you told him Padfoot wasn’t joining us tonight?”

Remus panicked. Sirius had already laid the groundwork for tonight. What had he told them? Best to keep a reponse simple. They could fill in their own blanks. “He was fine. Said he would make do.” 

“You know, avoiding him isn’t going to make things better. He needs you. Needs all of us.”

“Yeah… yeah I know.” Remus sat up and put his t-shirt back on. He needed to be dressed for this argument. “I’m just trying to give him some space right now. I’ll be back next month.”

“You’d better because I’m not putting up with your whiny bullshit about how sorry you are when you’re skipping out on him when he needs you.”

“No, it’s not like that. We talked. And we agreed. Just… just this month, a little space.”

“Are you okay?” asked Peter. “You look like a rabbit about to bolt.”

“No, I’m fine. I’m just - this has all been weird.”

“Well when it gets you down, remember you made it weird.”

“I know! I know it was a mistake and it was stupid and I regret it. And Remus forgave me so why can’t you fuck off about it?” Remus couldn’t help exploding at James. He didn’t deserve an attack. And Sirius didn’t either.

“Because you skip along your merry way assuming everything is sublime when we’re all still reeling from the shock of it. I’m going to keep on about it until I think you’ve learned your lesson and won’t risk our friend like that again!”

James still bullied Sirius about the Incident? No wonder they were all still walking on eggshells. When Remus became Remus again, he’d have to set them all down for a heart-to-heart. 

“I don’t need this shit. Not today. I’ll see you at lunch. Maybe.” He stomped off, leaving a furious James, and a bewildered Peter, behind him. He’d fix it later. Later, when he was himself again.

For now, he was going to seize this opportunity. He was going to be free for one single day. And it was going to be amazing.

\--------

Sirius huddled under the covers of Remus’s bed. He’d already cast three warming charms but they didn’t seem to be helping. His knees and elbows throbbed with a dull ache that was driving him spare. How did Remus stand it? How did he sit calmly, make conversation, do his homework with that constant pressure? 

He wanted to moan and whine to someone about it, but as Remus never moaned or whined, he had no choice but to keep it to himself.

Maybe he could get James or Peter to fetch him something from the infirmary. How many potions could he take at once? One for his joints, definitely. One to warm his body. One for the headache that wouldn’t subside. Maybe something to perk him up so he could get out of bed.

How long until lunch? The single muffin he gave Remus earlier wasn’t enough. But it was too much trouble to find anything to eat. Could he cast a Patronus to James to bring him food? Would it be his Patronus or Remus’s? Did he have enough energy for that anyway? 

Why did Remus skip breakfast so often? Ugh, because he was so tired. Sirius wanted the sweet release of sleep but he couldn't shut off his brain. Too much sensory information everywhere. Stop thinking, Remus had said. Ha! Who can stop thinking? That didn’t even make any sense!

He rolled over at a tentative knock at the door. He watched silently as the boys strolled in. James carried a small vial, and Peter a basket of sweets from the kitchens.

“Hey you’re awake! We come bearing gifts!” James handed over the vial, which Sirius took gratefully. He didn’t even care what it was for. 

He smiled his thanks to James, then swallowed in two large gulps. He sighed as heat flooded his system. Down his throat, through his center, out to the tips of his fingers and toes. So good.

“Better now?” James looked rather proud of himself. As if he didn’t fetch a potion for Remus every month. 

And every month Remus thanked him kindly. “Thank you James, I needed that!”

“No problem. Pomfrey had it ready - I guess it’s become a habit.” He and Peter settled themselves at the foot of Remus’s bed and started sorting through the snacks. Sirius sighed in contentment - warmth, and now food and companionship. It wouldn't be so bad.

But even as he thought it, the warmth started to fade. It receded from his fingertips and toes, up his arms and legs, pooled briefly in his belly, and then faded away entirely. What? Werewolf metabolism was fast but that seemed ridiculous. How could it burn away so quickly? Was it always like that? Why did Remus take a potion that would help for thirty seconds?

To make them feel better. James, Peter, Sirius. They worried about him during the full moon, and giving him potions and food made them feel better. What a noble idiot. He’d probably be better off groaning about it all. But of course Remus wasn’t the complaining kind.

“Do you want some shortbread? It’s fresh from the oven. I also brought rolls with ham and cheese, in case you wanted something more substantial.” Peter held out a biscuit for him.

Sirius felt a hundred times worse. The pain was back, and now he had to make small talk with these two clowns. He wasn’t sure it was even worth the biscuit. But he was hungry so he took a small bite.

And holy fuck, the flavor explosion in his mouth sent him reeling. Butter and sugar melted on his tongue. He closed his eyes and moaned. This was amazing. Delicious. Ambrosia. He needed a hundred more right now.

But James and Peter were looking at him funny. Act natural, you twit.

“That’s pretty good. Fresh and soft.” Smooth. That’s exactly how Remus sounds.

“There’s more here.” James held out a plate of biscuits. “We’ll save them all for you, if you like them that much.” 

Yes! All the biscuits, all for him! But no. Because Remus was caring and shit. He would share.

“No, you can have them. What else did you bring?” His eyes roamed the pile.

“We found some raspberry scones, cream puffs, and also the lemon tarts in case Sirius decided to get off his high horse and join us.”

Sirius looked up at that. “What did Sirius do?” He and Remus should have planned a little better. Stuck together more.

“I tried to talk to him about missing the full tonight and he got huffy. Selfish prick. He should be here with you.” 

Sirius could only imagine how that had gone. He’d tried talking to James at breakfast but obviously he hadn’t made himself clear enough. What had Remus said? Was he upset? Would he still enjoy his day? Fuck James and his meddling!

Sirius cleared his throat. “No it’s fine. We talked about it when he brought me the muffins.”

“Yeah he said he was giving you space but that’s bullshit. He’s being a coward.”

“He’s not a coward. He’s our friend. And he’s doing his best.”

“His best. Ha! A real friend would stick by you now.”

“Lay off. It’s between me and him now and we’re working it out, okay? This whole thing is giving me a headache and I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Sorry, mate. Here, have another biscuit.”

“No, I want a lemon tart.”

“You hate lemon tarts.”

“I’m eating it on Sirius’s behalf.” Sirius took a large bite of tart. He was unprepared for the shocking acid of the pastry. His face scrunched up and he spit it all out. “Ugh my mouth!” He scraped at his tongue, conjuring a glass to fill with water. Four aguamentis later and he could no longer taste it.

Lemon tarts ruined! No wonder Remus hated them. It sucked so much moisture out of his mouth, it wanted to fold in on itself. He swallowed a small sandwich, the ham pleasantly salty. Maybe a cream puff next? The cream was cool and smooth. Was that a hint of almond in the cream? Delicious. Food was amazing! He popped three more in his mouth in quick succession. The sugar made him feel soft and floaty, peaceful. 

Maybe now he could rest. He half dozed, half mumbled responses to their chatter, until he drifted off to sleep.

\--------

“REMUS!” 

“What the fuck?” Sirius woke with a start. What was - oh right, he was Remus for now. He shook his head as he sat up. 

James was looking at him intently. “Are you okay? You wouldn’t wake up.”

“No it’s fine. I’m just - “ he yawned loudly, “just sleepy. What time is it?”

“It’s time for lunch. Peter went on ahead.”

“Yeah okay. Let me - “ He pointed to the bathroom.

James nodded. “Take your time, I’m going on ahead. We’ll meet you there.”

Sirius trudged into the bathroom. He had a momentary panic when he saw Remus’s reflection in the mirror. It was unnerving to look in a mirror and see someone else looking back. He turned away - he couldn’t handle that right now. He stumbled into the toilet stall to pee. And pee. And pee. Remus’s bladder must hold a full gallon. He was so relieved when it was over, he almost went to take another nap.

But his stomach screamed that lunch was waiting so he washed up and headed down to the Great Hall to join the others. He wondered how Remus had spent the morning and if he’d enjoyed himself.

Remus smiled when Sirius came in. “How was your nap?”

“Refreshing.” Sirius eyeballed the food. After the sugar explosion with the biscuits and lemon tarts, he was suspicious of everything.

Remus seemed to have no qualms about serving a little of everything in sight. He inhaled the food like a piranha attacking a cow. Peter was staring at Remus as if he’d grown a second head because no one ate like that. Sirius mentally rolled his eyes and gave Remus’s leg a kick. When Remus looked up, Sirius tried to give him an “act natural” look. It sort of worked. At least he ate slower.

Sirius smiled and asked, “What did you do with your morning?”

Remus started talking animatedly about the flying he’d done around the quidditch pitch, and then the grounds. Sirius was surprised - Remus wasn’t usually a fan of flying. 

Sirius began serving small bites while he listened. The potatoes were blah, not exciting or dull. The broccoli was gross, but the cheese covering it was creamy. He reached for the brown sauce for his chicken but Remus nudged his leg to stop him. Right - Sirius loved brown sauce, not Remus. He hesitated at his first bite but it was mouthwatering. Even plain, his tastebuds danced around each morsel. 

“It was amazing! I skimmed low enough over the lake I could drag my hand through it. Crazy, right?” 

James gave an annoyed eyeroll. “That’s what was so important for today? Flying?”

“Er… well, it was fun.” Remus looked down at his plate. Flying at all was rare for Remus. Sirius stretched his back and imagined being on a broom in this body. It wasn’t very flexible so fancy flips and turns were out of the question.

He pat Remus on the back. “That’s great! Was it chilly by the water?”

“No,” Remus smiled, gratefully, “it was rather nice. I also went for a long walk near the Forest. I- I climbed a tree,” he said sheepishly. 

Sirius grinned. “Up a tree! Sirius! I wish I could have seen it! Next time, yeah?”

Remus nodded and happily went back to eating. 

James peered at the two of them. “You two are acting weird. What’s up?”

Remus stiffened but Sirius gave a wide smile. “Nothing is up. We had a good talk this morning and now we’re… whatever we are. It’s fine.”

Sirius shifted in his seat again. He was sore all over, and already needed another nap. Was he supposed to sleep all day so he could stay awake all night as the wolf? Best not to dwell on what was coming. He shivered and went back to his chicken. He massaged his temples. The smell of so many bodies was doing nothing for his headache.

Remus reached across the table for the chocolate cake. “Here, you’ll want a slice of this.”

Sirius felt his body relaxing just from smelling the chocolate. The first bite was sheer bliss. Just like with the potion from Madam Pomfrey, it filled his whole body. He moaned and gulped down another bite. It wasn’t enough. More. He needed more. So warm. Oh fuck. He grabbed at the cake with both hands, shoving handfuls in his mouth, barely chewing before swallowing.

James and Peter stared wide-eyed. “What the fuck, Remus?”

Remus sat next to him, shaking with silent laughter. “Need some water to wash that down?”

Actually, yes. His throat was clogged with cake but he needed more. He sipped some water then grabbed more handfuls of cake. He knew he was making a fool of himself but he didn’t care - really it was Remus that would take the fall. For now, he was going to revel in this warmth, this relief, this floaty feeling that was better than any potion he’d ever tried.

He ate until the cake was nothing but a pile of crumbs and his stomach bulged with the sugary treat. He wanted to fall over asleep right there in the Great Hall. Remus must have seen it on his face because he stopped his own grazing to help Sirius up. He pulled Sirius’s arm around his neck and supported him up the stairs to the common room.

“I’m too tired. Let’s just rest here.” He fell over, asleep, in one of the armchairs.

“What is his deal?” Peter asked. “I know he likes chocolate but I’ve never seen him attack a cake like that.”

“Blame it on the full? I’m sure he’ll be fine tomorrow.” Remus wanted to break down in giggles at his chocolate-drunk friend but this was not the time.

“I guess. I’ll sit with him,” James said. “I’ve got Charms to work on. You?”

Peter just groaned, “Oh fine. Charms it is.”

“Actually -” Remus started.

“You’re leaving again? Are you going to help with him at all this moon? He needs you. Needs all of us! How can you just go?” James shoved at Remus.

“I’m just trying to… just get some distance. I mean, we talked about it this morning. He said. He said some space. Just this time. I’ll be back, for real… but next month.” Remus almost hated himself. He probably should stay and help Sirius. The evening would be hellish and Sirius had no idea. On the other hand, “I need this day.”

“Fine! Run along and play on your own. We’ll get through this without you.” James knocked into Remus’s shoulder as he headed up to the dorm for his books. Peter avoided his eyes as he followed. 

Remus fought back panic. Was he making things worse by leaving? But he needed this. This day was a gift. He didn’t want to waste it moping around the common room with a sleepy Sirius and a grumpy James. The flying this morning had been amazing. He wanted more. This body, this day, was once in a lifetime. He needed to savor it. Otherwise, the sacrifice Sirius made was useless.

He was leaving. Now. 

Before James and Peter could return, he was gone.

\--------

Being outdoors, without the wolf’s senses, was amazing. All that fresh air and sunshine everyone waxed poetic about - he finally understood. He contemplated going for another fly. But there were only so many hours left in the day. He wanted to try something new.

He walked down by the lake, and started to circle around it. He kicked up a few rocks to throw in. For such a beautiful day, there weren’t many people on the grounds. They took it all for granted, the joy of being outside without being assaulted in all your senses. They didn’t know what it was like to taste the loam as you walked. The pressure of the wind on your skin. Scents, sounds, light - all of it so overwhelming. 

Only he didn’t know it was overwhelming until today. Sirius’s body felt light and easy, removed from everything. Is this how it was for everyone? Why didn’t they skip and run all the time?

On an impulse, he took off his trainers and socks. He rolled up his jeans and waded into the water. The cool mud squelched between his toes. He kicked out, laughing as the spray cascaded across the water. He looked around. Seeing no one about, at least not close enough to care, he took his t-shirt off and threw it back with his trainers. He reached down for handfuls of water and splashed his chest. So cool, so refreshing.

Sirius went swimming sometimes, right? Lots of students did when the weather was warmer. Right now it was too cold for most people but most people didn’t have only this one day to enjoy it. Usually it was too hard, too personal, to strip down where someone might see and question his extensive scarring. But today… Today he was someone else and that someone sometimes went swimming.

He stripped off his jeans and transfigured his pants into something more appropriate for swimming. With a whoop, he leaped into the lake with a great splash. He swam in large circles. Attempted some twirls and flips in the water. He ended up floating on his back, staring up at the vast blue sky.

The afternoon stretched before him. What was he going to do with his time, with this body? Usually he'd spend any free time catching up on homework but that was out of the question. He was going to have fun! No Charms. No Transfiguration. No Potions. 

Wait - potions. He floundered in the water until he got his feet under him. He swam for shore. With this body and this dull sense of smell, potions was actually doable. And there was that ointment he wanted to make…

Remus tossed off a drying charm and struggled into his clothes. He'd have to sneak past the guys in the common room but it would probably be fine. If he remembered the instructions right, he could finish the ointment just after dinner. It was supposed to sit overnight before using but maybe they could skip that. It was worth a shot to help Sirius. Certainly nothing could make his night worse.

In the common room, Sirius was awake again. He was wrapped in a thin blanket, curled up in the armchair. James was trying to entice him into a game of cards but clearly he was just going to mope. By now, he would be stiff and aching, and the scents of so many bodies would be giving him a headache, especially since he wasn’t used to it.

Remus gave them a nod as he hurried up the stairs to their dorm. Digging in his trunk, he found the newsletter from the werewolf registry. He skimmed over the usual dribble about making a safe space to change and found what he wanted - a recipe for an experimental balm for easing joint pain. It would take several hours to create, and need several hours to cure, but it was meant to work with a werewolf’s metabolism instead of against it. He hadn’t wanted to bother the boys with making it - that was a lot of time for them to sacrifice, when they already sacrificed so much for him - but now he could do it himself.

He gathered his potions kit and some other things that might be useful and headed back out the door. Just before he left, he grabbed “The Little Prince” from his bedside table. In the common room, he crossed to Sirius.

“Here. Maybe you’d like to read this?” 

Sirius looked up at him, perplexed. Remus swallowed his laugh. 

“Really. It'll help you relax.” 

Sirius gave the book a quick flip as Remus turned away. 

“Where are you going?” James grumbled. 

“I have a project to work on. It’s nothing really.”

“It’s not homework is it?” Sirius frowned at him. “You shouldn’t be doing homework today.” 

“No,” he smiled, “not homework. Something else. Something I’ve been thinking about and now seems the perfect time.”

Sirius gave him a small smile in dismissal. Remus glanced at the others and then ran. Time was of the essence.

In the potions classroom, he pulled what he needed from the students supply cupboard. He inhaled deeply. It was strange not to pinpoint each and every ingredient. Only a general dried herb sort of smell, mixed with earth. Not so bad. 

He dumped everything in a lightweight cauldron and left for the outdoors. The classroom didn’t swamp his senses as usual but he still wanted to enjoy the beautiful weather. He found a spot near the edge of the woods, where no one would bother him, and set to work.

\--------

Sirius looked over the book Remus gave him. He did not have the energy for reading right now. Every movement sent pain radiating out from his joints. They resisted movement, like a rusty hinge. His head pounded as well. Did anyone in this House take a shower? Because all he could smell was unwashed bodies. And the fucking noise. Who knew quills could be so loud? The scratching reverberated in his brain like nails on a chalkboard.

He flipped to a random page but the words blurred. He blinked hard a few times to clear them and tried to focus.

_Oh, little prince! Bit by bit I came to understand the secrets of your sad little life… For a long time you had found your only entertainment in the quiet pleasure of looking at the sunset._

As he read, the noise faded away. 

_He could not say anything more. His words were choked by sobbing._

Huh. He actually felt a little better. Reading kept him still and directed his thoughts away from his surroundings. He turned to the beginning of the book.

_Once when I was six years old…_

He went on reading the simple, but sweet book. The longer he read, the less he wanted to complain. Pain still hovered around the edges but it was less oppressive as he focused on the pages in front of him. 

It was the calmest he had felt all day, aside from the chocolate. He should get one of the boys to fetch him more. Remus had plenty of chocolate stashed away in his trunk. Surely he wouldn’t mind Sirius taking any, not today at least.

He snapped his fingers in Peter’s direction. “Oi, you. Go get me some chocolate. It’ll make me feel better.”

“Yes, your majesty,” Pete said with an eyeroll and a smile as he went to fetch it. Thank goodness he hadn’t put up a fuss. Remus would never have been so rude. Sirius tried not to moan out loud as he ate the sugary sweet treat. Between the chocolate and the book, he was almost feeling like a regular person.

“Evans! You look lovely today! Come join us!” James pushed Peter to the floor to make space for Lily, and Mary MacDonald, on the couch next to him. Lily frowned but sat when she saw Sirius looking so miserable.

“Hiya Remus. Feeling okay today?” Lily leaned forward to rub his knee. “You look a little under the weather.”

Her hand was soothing where it rubbed his leg. He mumbled around his chocolate, “Alright I guess.” He smiled but turned back to his book, uncaring if Lily’s feelings were hurt. Remus could mend it later.

Lily looked around. “Where’s Black? Thought you four were joined at the hip - it’s not like him to be gone so long.”

“Sirius is being a prick today. We haven’t seen him much and I can’t bring myself to care.” His concerned frown belied his words but Lily let it go.

Sirius spoke up. “Actually, he’s been acting a little off today.” James gave him a curious look. Sirius ignored him. “You know, Mary, sometimes he talks to you when he doesn’t talk to us. Maybe you could help him?”

Mary gave a wicked smile. “Oh I’d love to talk to Sirius.” She started to rise but Sirius stopped her.

“No, not now! He’s busy now. With something or other. But later. Later he’ll be moping around in our room and I’d hate for him to get into trouble. Maybe you could keep an eye on him? After dinner?”

Mary gave Sirius a wink. “Sure thing. I’ll take good care of him.” 

Lily elbowed Mary’s side. “Honestly, the way you carry on about him. You should demand more loyalty. Sirius will kiss anyone that stays still long enough.”

“Oh I don’t flatter myself I’m the only one he’s after. I just don’t care. I’m not interested in anything serious. Just a little _Sirius_.” Mary cackled at her little joke but Sirius only rolled his eyes. He wanted to be annoyed but he made jokes like that all the time. 

Satisfied that Remus wouldn’t spend the evening alone, Sirius went back to his book. He let a serene peace settle over him as he read and nibbled his chocolate. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon. He wouldn't let himself dwell on what was to come. 

\--------

Remus checked his watch one last time. He gave the ointment another stir then set a charm to cool it a few degrees every fifteen minutes for the next hour. By the time he came back from dinner, it would be ready for the final step. Hopefully in time for Sirius to get some use out of it.

He gathered all of it up and hurried back to the castle. He tucked the pile behind a tapestry, disillusioning it for good measure, to keep it close but away from prying eyes. He found the Marauders in the Great Hall. 

He was flushed from running, and his hair and clothes were rumpled from his wild afternoon. He didn’t care. This was the happiest he could ever remember being.

James, Peter, and Sirius were already eating. Sirius approached everything with suspicion, sticking mainly to the roast beef. Remus piled his plate high with samples of everything. All day he had been amused by the lackluster flavor of everything he ate. It was all so simple, so bland. He understood now why Sirius dumped so much brown sauce on everything.

“So how did your afternoon go? Your project work out?” Sirius smiled encouragingly at Remus.

“Yes! I hope! I put together a new ointment that should help with your joints during the full moon. I’m hoping it’ll be ready in time for tonight but it’s going to be a close call.” He smiled encouragingly at Sirius.

Sirius cocked his head to the side, curious. “What ointment? Where did you hear of it?”

Remus darted a glance at James and Peter. He couldn’t say it was in the newsletter because Sirius-as-Remus would have been the one to see it. He tried to give Sirius a meaningful look.

“Just. Around. Did a little research a few weeks ago. It’s...er… still in development.”

“Why didn't you tell me about it before?” Sirius frowned.

He was not being very subtle. What was Remus supposed to say without making James more suspicious? And why was Sirius so angry? Remus gave a little shrug and went back to eating. 

“If there’s something that’s going to help with the change, why not say so sooner? Why not make it, you know, a few weeks ago?”

Oh. _Oh_. He meant why didn’t Remus ask for help sooner.

Remus began poking at his plate, biting at his lower lip. “Well it’s a complicated thing. Takes a lot of time. I didn’t know if… if it was worth the time.”

Sirius set his fork down and stared hard at Remus. “Not worth the time? Something that might help is always worth the time.” His voice started to rise. “Always. You hear me? Hey!” He jerked on Remus’s arm, forcing Remus to look up at him in alarm. “Do not keep that shit to yourself. Ever. If it’s going to help, I want to know it. Immediately. Understand? The four of us, we are brothers. In this together.”

Remus’s stomach clenched and tears burned in his eyes. He blinked them away and nodded at Sirius. “Yeah. I'm sorry. Next time, I'll talk with you about it.” He gulped down some water, to avoid looking at Peter and James. 

James, of course, was furious that “Sirius” had kept something like that from them. He opened his mouth to begin his rant but Sirius cut him off. “Leave it James, this is between me and Sirius.”

James stabbed at his food and glared, but thankfully kept silent. 

“So what else did you do?” 

“Oh well between steps, while waiting for things to brew and settle and all, I lay in the sun. I ran.”

“Ran?” James asked, blank faced. 

“Yeah. I ran. In circles, around the trees. Climbed high. I even swung from a few branches. Almost fell and busted something but it was fine.”

“Swinging from branches? That’s the dream?” Sirius laughed.

“Yes, you prat. Not the usual sort of thing but that’s what made it fun.” 

“Whatever floats your boat, mate. Fun is the name of the game today.”

Sirius shoved his dinner plate away and pulled the bowl of chocolate mousse towards him. He moaned around giant spoonfuls.

“Are you going to save any for the rest of us?”

“Fuck you, I can do anything I want today. And today I want to eat this entire bowl. Alone.”

“You know, there’s chocolate up in our room,” said Remus. 

“Too late, I already ate it all.”

“All of it?” Remus gave a nervous laugh.

“Yup. I’m not even sorry. We’ll replace it before the next moon.”

Remus snorted. “It’s fine. You eat what you want.” He hurried through his last few bites. “I have to go finish the thing. Hopefully I’ll be back before you leave but if not.” He looked over at James and Peter. “I just - “ He swallowed hard.

“It’s okay Sirius. It’s going to be fine.” Sirius leaned over to hug Remus.

Remus whispered in his ear, “I’m so sorry.”

Sirius whispered back, “Don’t. Please be happy today.”

Remus nodded, blinking away more tears, then hurried away before he started bawling in front of the entire Great Hall. 

\--------

“What is with you two?” 

“Nothing.” Sirius picked at the pudding, appetite gone. 

“You can’t say nothing when it’s obviously something. You two have been weird all day and I want to know what’s going on.”

“It’s nothing, alright? Nothing I want to talk about. I can’t.” Sirius pushed away from the table to flee. 

James grabbed his arm. ‘Whatever it is, you can trust us. You said it yourself, we’re in this together.”

“Not this time, James. I’m sorry.”

Sirius hurried away. Butterflies were murdering each other in his belly. He was going to lose it. What the fuck was he doing? In a few hours he was going to be turned inside out. Ripped apart and reassembled. 

He didn’t make it to the toilet. Barely missing his shoes, Sirius vomited all over the floor. He trembled and heaved until his stomach was empty. With shaky hands, he vanished the mess. He fell against the sink to rinse his mouth. 

Get it together, Black. 

Drying his face, he looked at his reflection. Remus looked back at him.

Remus. This was for Remus. He took a steadying breath. When he was sure the trembling was under control, he left for the infirmary. He didn’t want to see James and Peter, and he didn’t want Madam Pomfrey to have to search him out. Maybe the quiet of the infirmary would keep the panic at bay.

Madam Pomfrey seemed surprised to see him.

“Hello Mr. Lupin. Here early today! Are you feeling alright?”

“Not really, something with my stomach. Is there something I can take? Maybe something to calm my nerves?” He was grasping at straws. Nothing was going to help him now.

Madam Pomfrey led him to a clean bed. “I wish I had something for you but you know you’d burn through it in no time. I’m so sorry dear.”

Sirius nodded as he pulled the covers up. Madam Pomfrey laid a warming charm over him, offering a small relief.

He drifted in and out of sleep until she nudged his shoulder.

Right. Time to go.

\--------

Remus stirred his concoction one more time. Done! He poured it into four small glass jars, to set overnight. 

He checked the time. Damn! Sirius would be gone by now. He threw his stirring rod into the cauldron with a clang. He scrubbed at his face. What now? Sirius would be in the Shack. James and Peter would be near by, ready to join him when Pomfrey left. 

He gathered his things and stomped up the stairs. Thankfully no one detained him as he moved swiftly through the common room. He was not in a mood to socialize. He was going to curl up in his bed and try to sleep. A real sleep. A deep sleep. He would wake refreshed and ready to take back his body from Sirius in the morning.

He opened the door to the dorm, expecting it to be empty. He was not expecting Mary MacDonald sitting on Sirius’s bed wearing only her bra and knickers.

\--------

Sirius paced around the broken furniture in the Shack.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck. Fuck.

He tugged at his hair and tried to bring his breathing under control. He probably should have asked Remus what to expect but maybe not knowing was better? Too late now.

He stripped out of his clothes with shaking hands. He wrapped himself in a sheet from the cupboard. Curled up on the bed, he let the tears fall. He rocked his body back and forth. The blood rushed in his veins. His breath came short and fast.

He couldn’t do this. He began to sweat. Oh fuck. It was starting. 

\--------

“Mary. What are you doing here?” Remus didn’t know where to look. He tried to focus on her face. But oh fuck, that body.

“Remus said you were a little off today. That maybe you needed someone to talk to tonight.” She left the bed and walked up to his frozen body. She ran her hands up his chest, around his neck. She whispered against his lips, “But we both know we don’t talk much.” 

She licked along the seam of his lips. In surprise, he opened his mouth. She took the opportunity to kiss him, deep and slow. Her tongue slid against his, so warm and enticing. Without being consciously aware, his hands slipped around her waist to pull her closer.

No. Wait. What was he doing? This was Sirius’s girlfriend. Or his something. He shouldn’t be kissing her. Touching her. Pressing her body so tight against his. Licking her lips. Caressing her back and hips.

Stop it. Stop. No. He couldn’t. He just couldn’t.

Except… Sirius sent her, right? Sirius wanted Remus to have her. She was a gift. Another gift on this beautiful day. 

His hand plunged into her hair. He moaned into her mouth, pushing her back towards Sirius’s bed. So wrong. So delicious. So unnerving. So warm.

“Mary.” He kissed along her neck. She wrapped her leg around his hip.

His hands shook as they traced along her ribs and hips. He nuzzled into her neck.

“Mary. Can we - can we maybe pretend? That this is my first time?”

“Mmm… kinky. I like it.” She pushed him over onto his back and straddled his hips. “Don’t you worry, baby. I’ll take good care of you.”

\--------

Sirius’s temperature rose with every minute that passed. He threw the sheet to the floor, sweat dripping down his temples, his back. His arms and legs twitched. Small shivers became a writhing pain. His back arched and bowed. His bones turned to glass, shattering and reforming over and over as his body changed shape.

His skin rippled and and burned, stretching beyond its capacity. His hands scratched everywhere he could reach, trying to relieve the searing pain. He yanked at his hair, curled into a ball against the onslaught. 

He shrieked. He cried. He had nowhere to go.

\--------

Remus writhed on the bed, pressing up into Mary with every thrust. Her nails raked down his chest, making him moan out his pleasure. He sat up to suck and lick her soft skin. Sweat ran down his back. Her desperate pleas were a symphony in his ears. 

He rolled so she was beneath him. She wrapped her legs around his waist, dug her nails into his shoulders. 

“Harder! Fuck me harder!”

Remus groaned and drove into her for all he was worth. The heat, the pressure of her body was his whole world. 

“Oh yes! Fuck! Yes!” She cried out as her orgasm hit. He felt the spasms around his cock. 

His skin was on fire, everywhere his skin met hers. The heat pooled in his belly then exploded out. He came with a deep groan, buried to the hilt in her soft body. 

He collapsed on her, letting his heart rate slow, his breathing return to normal. He rolled to her side, pulling her along with him so they faced each other.

He stroked her hair, traced her lips. “That was beautiful.”

“Ever the charmer!” She brushed his lips with hers, then rolled over so her back was to his front. She stayed until sleep claimed him.

\--------

Sirius came awake slowly. He rolled to his side with a sharp whine. That was a mistake - his throat was on fire. Every particle of his body hurt. His skin was raw. His arms and legs were barely responsive. He was stiff and broken. 

He laid there for an eternity. His body began to shiver, which only spread the fire faster. It was cold. So cold while he burned. 

He was dying. This was the end of him. Sweet oblivion pulled him under. 

\--------

Remus stretched, sliding his legs along the sheets. He was naked. The cotton against his skin was soft, seductive. He stared at the unfamiliar patch of ceiling in confusion. 

Oh. Right. Sirius. 

Mary.

He sat up in bed and looked down at his hands. Still Sirius for now. A glance around the room found James and Peter fast asleep. It was terribly early but he knew Sirius would be in the infirmary. He had to see him. Now.

He scrambled out of bed and into tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt. He slipped out the door, making his way to the infirmary.

\--------

Sirius didn’t want to open his eyes. He didn’t think he could bear the walls of the Shack anymore. He pulled the covers over his head.

Wait, covers?

He peeked out. Oh, the infirmary. Thank fuck, it was over. 

He sobbed his relief into his pillow. He curled up on his side, clutching the blanket to his mouth to muffle the sound. 

Morning meant he could leave this body soon. Guilt gnawed at him. Throbbing pain coursed through him. His bones. His skin. Even his hair hurt. The blanket was charmed to warm him but it didn't sink into his skin like it should. He trembled from head to toe. He clenched his jaw to keep the sounds in. 

Behind him, the blanket lifted and a warm body slid in bed with him. 

Remus. 

Remus, with the scent of Mary all over him. 

Sirius tried to control the shivering but it was useless. Remus pulled his body close, wrapping an arm around his waist. Their legs tangled together. 

He wanted to groan again but his jaw was still clenched tight. The body pressed against him - the pressure, the heat, the soothing hand on his belly - warmed him to his core. Minutes passed and the tremors subsided to a gentle shiver every now and again. 

Remus stroked his chest and belly, under his shirt, as he whispered, “You did it, Sirius. You made it. You're okay now.”

Sirius tried to respond but Remus stopped him. “Shh, it's okay. I know. And it's okay.” His hand drifted up and down, calming Sirius. “I know how it hurts. Harder than you thought, yeah?”

Remus let his hands drift lower, skimming the top of Sirius’s pyjama bottoms. His fingers slipped just under the waistband. Sirius tensed, but again Remus silenced him. “Shh, trust me. It’s my body after all.” 

His fingers traced up and down Sirius’s hardening cock. He pushed the pyjamas down as best he could, and continued tracing up and down the shaft. By now, Sirius’s cock was hard, and pleasure spread up his spine. Remus took him in hand and slowly stroked his length. 

Sirius whimpered and gently rocked his hips. The itch of his skin faded, replaced with the soft glow of arousal. He pressed back into Remus’s body, reveling in the shared heat.

“Thank you, for yesterday. For Mary. You can probably smell her on me, yeah? She was lovely, and kind, and gentle. Honestly, I didn't think I'd ever get to touch another person like that. Feel lips on my own.” His hand sped up. “Sinking into her body was a bliss I can't even describe. It was perfect. Beautiful. And I have you to thank for it.”

He squeezed his hand tight around Sirius’s cock. He mumbled an incantation and lube coated his hand, allowing him to move even faster. Sirius rocked his hips, and moaned. Oh fuck it was like flying. New tremors rocked his body, waves of pleasure that rebound and coursed back. 

“You know, I don't remember anything before I was bitten. This is all I've ever known. It was my best day.”

Sirius whimpered. He wiggled, trying to encourage Remus to speed up. 

“But don’t you ever do anything like that again. Ever. Alright? You have to promise. Never again.”

Sirius nodded. Anything. He would agree to anything right now. He rocked faster. 

“Shh… it's okay. It's okay. I've got you.” His hand flew, building the pressure, making Sirius soar. “Relax. Let it come. You’ll see. It's not all bad, being me.”

Sirius came with a high pitched whine. His entire body seized up with it. Like swimming in amortentia. A whole sea of it. It covered him, wrapped round him, comforted him. 

Remus cast a cleaning charm, and adjusted his pyjamas and blankets. He went back to rubbing circles on Sirius’s belly.

“Better now?”

Sirius hummed in pleasure. He floated along, shivering as a wave of pleasure rolled over him every few minutes. He was boneless. Melted. Truly relaxed for the first time in this body. Long minutes passed with shivers and warmth skittering across his skin. How did Remus not wank all the time? 

“Holy fuck, Remus, it’s still going.”

“I know.” Sirius could feel the smile against his hair.

“How do manage a wank the morning after?”

“I don’t. Like you, I can hardly move. But I knew it would comfort you until you get your body back.”

Sirius linked hands with Remus. “Thank you.”

“No, thank you. But never again. Got it?”

“I’m ashamed to say yes, never again. Remus, this was nearly fucking impossible. I’m so sorry. Sorry you have to do this month after month. Sorry that I don’t think I can do it again.”

“It’s not your burden to bear. And I wouldn’t want you to.” Remus sat up and tucked Sirius back in. He took the chair next to the bed.

“But you enjoyed it? You had a good day?”

“The best day ever. Memories I will cherish forever.” Remus laughed. “But can you believe it, I miss my body? I ran. I jumped. I soaked up the sun. I - I got to, you know… with someone else.” He nibbled at his nails. “You were reckless but I took full advantage of it. Thank you.”

“It was worth it. For you.” He took Remus’s hand.

Heat began to build in his body. He groaned again. No! He couldn’t take any more things this morning! His vision dimmed. He gripped his head, curled his legs up close to his body.

Then suddenly, nothing. 

He was sitting in a chair, looking down at Remus. He shot to his feet.

“I’m back! I’m back in my beautiful body!” He twirled in circles and whooped.

Remus laughed. “Shh! You’ll wake Madam Pomfrey.” He groaned. “I forgot how difficult the morning is. But it’s good to be back.”

“Padfoot will be with you next month, okay?” He sat on the edge of the bed, taking up Remus’s hand. “But in the meantime, I’ll be right here by your side. Anything you need, you have to let me know. You can't keep any more secrets. I know too much.”

Remus squeezed his hand. “I know.” He smiled tentatively. “You’ll keep them from James and Peter? I don’t want to worry them.”

“It’ll be just between us.”

They were still holding hands when James and Peter shuffled in.

“Everything alright here?”

“Situation normal,” said Sirius with a sad smile and a squeeze of Remus’s hand.


End file.
